ATKINS
11-4-2008 – Well here’s the first baby step to this new life I am working on for myself, I am mad really mad, I don’t believe I eat enough to have to go to these extremes but well that’s life. So, today starts my journey of Meat, Eggs, Fish and Cheese with a few veggies after the first 14 days. I did do this diet several years ago and it worked for me because eventually you get sick of the food selects and just eat a lot less. I just have to keep reminding myself that there is a bigger cause and it’s called living.

11-5-2008 – whew I made it through the first day, I was meaner than a junk yard dog but I made it. I am so thankful for my support team (my sisters and husband), they just let me rant and rave. So, today is a tuna and egg day.
11-6-2008 – well the diarrhea has already set it, I knew there was a reason that I really didn’t like this diet other than the yucky food. However, the good news is I have lost my first pound.
11-10-2008 – I have officially lost 5 pounds!!! I have also discovered a very symbolic AH-HA…
I have been under extreme stress between work, my mom getting diagnosed with breast cancer, relationships ending, and there is something wrong with my eyes. Well, I am being really bombarded with emotions and I was thinking what’s wrong with me why are all of these emotions flying out of me , I am usually so so in control of my emotions on the out side, then it hit me. I am normally stuffing them down, literally stuffing them down. When I get mad I eat, when I feel my life is out of control I eat because that is one thing in my life that I have full control of. It is the one thing that no one else can make me do, take away from me, etc.. So, the literal stuffing food in has been stuffing my emotions down. Yikes this could be a rocky road I am walking.

11-11-2008 – I hate meat, I never want to eat meat for breakfast again, I know that I can not live on Atkins forever; however, I do know that I want to be able to get into David’s car and not have to raise the steering wheel and the seatbelt fit without choking the life out of me. So, 30 days of eating leftover chicken wings for breakfast might be worth it J

11-12-2008 – Rule number one – never weigh when you had pork for dinner. I gained 2 pounds from yesterday. This really pisses me off, I hate weighing everyday but I think for the first month it’s important to understand what affects the scales.
9:07pm How many days does it take on a diet of Meat, cheese and eggs to create a crazy woman, I can tell you exactly 8. I am so crazy, I am craving sugar in any form. Tonight David was eating peaches and I could smell them from the kitchen.

11-13-2008 – Well another reason to keep going, I went to the doctor today and my eyes (actual eyeballs) are swollen and possibly leaking fluids (this is a side effect of being a diabetic) and now I have to go see if I have to have surgery. So today sugar doesn’t sound so good. I have found something that helps. Bread and Butter pickles made with Splenda – Wonderful…

11-14-2008 – I have taken another step in my recovery – I have made an appointment with a shrink to talk about all of these emotions and why I feel that I have to stuff them down. Have I told you lately that I hate pork and chicken? I am thinking that I should try to be a vegetarian when this is all over. I don’t think I would miss meat at all. You know one thing that I also have been thinking about, I hate all of my clothes in my closet, they are fat clothes. I often have to buy what I can find that fits and I try really hard to find my style but it’s not me. So another something to really look forward to. I am getting nervous, we are going home to Mom and Dad’s for Christmas and I have gained weight since last year. It’s always so hard when people only see you once a year, to have them see you with added weight is always nerve wrecking. However, my mom is very weight crazy and always notices every ounce. I know it’s her own insecurities but it always is stressful. She’s the queen of backhanded compliments – like you dress so well for someone your size, you are so successful for a big woman etc.. I know she doesn’t mean any harm but it does hurt.